Before we get to the climax of this story, let me set the scene and provide some context…
I made this Instagram post a while back when I was announcing that I’m starting my blog again. I had originally started steffanlynch.com early in 2022. I wrote consistently for a couple months between January and March. Since then, I’ve tried other business ideas, started driving, and got a car, along with all the headache that comes with it. I failed and then passed my data analytics apprenticeship, starting a new job soon after. The point is, many other things took my attention. But I’m starting this again for good. After I made the post announcing my new mission and that I was focusing on it, that was supposed to be the “start of something new”.
The Wake Up Call
But I struggled. Certain things held me back, which I’ll expand on more in a future post. I had made that post on a Thursday. And the next week, Wednesday, I was delayed a bit; I still hadn’t started.
I called Kwesi per our bi-weekly catch-up call. As usual, he updated me on how the gym was going, which was usually good. He had started posting on TikTok again, which we were both proud of him for.
I also had to get onto him about his driving theory. So Kwesi has finished his segment of a catch-up on how he’s doing, and then it came to my turn.
Work was going very well. I was becoming a lot more involved in managing this massive project and was preparing to go to Morocco, and that was about it.
But of course, I had to mention the update on this site and my progress since the last post.
The only honest update I could give was that I was delaying and procrastinating out of fear and nervousness. It’s not that I didn’t have anything to write or share; it’s that I wasn’t writing it. As I expect from any good friend, he pushed me and encouraged me to do what needed to be done and not let the nervousness take over me.
But in doing so, he accidentally said something profound, which changed my perspective on everything. I say ‘accidentally; because I don’t think he intended to have the impact on me that he had, but he did. I don’t even think he realised the weight of what he just said to me.
Go back and read that again.
There’s one thing that I’m reminded of in that saying…
It's Not About Me...
I was so caught up in my feelings and my own little bubble. I was feeling nervous. I was afraid. And everything was about me, which, in retrospect, was pretty selfish. What Kwesi had so eloquently reminded me was that it’s actually not about me. He reminded me that I must zoom out, remain focused on the bigger picture, and not indulge (too much) in current feelings or hurdles.
Because the truth is, I’m not writing this post for me. steffanlynch.com does not exist for Steffan Lynch. It exists for those who need it. I write because someone out there might need a shift. I write my story because someone out there will be inspired by reading it. Ultimately, while this site is about me, it is not for me. I had lost sight of that.
He reminded me that I am in service to those who read this blog. He reminded me that I am a servant to those in need. So, I can’t afford to not write what needs to be written and share what needs to be shared.
The truth is, it matters less about how I feel and more about what is required of me from others – what is needed. Someone somewhere will benefit from the story I have.
When I gave my prayer to God, I spent a large portion of that talking about the needs that I’m serving. What Kwesi said to me is what placed in my heart to pray that prayer and share it in the first place. It put things into perspective.
So now, that is how I’m trying to live my life. Not just with the blog. Not just with steffanlynch.com. But with every element of my life.
Life is about servitude. It’s about being a servant to others. And let me just say this now: there is nothing shameful or embarrassing about being a servant. I’d hope that, at least, my Christian readers would agree with me in saying that, given that we are servants of Christ.
Being a servant, in this context, means that you’re putting someone else’s needs above your own. It means to sacrifice oneself for another. It means to submit.
What do you think friendship is about? What else do you call it when you’re busy, but your friend calls in need, and you drop what you’re doing to help them?
What else do you think the premise of being a husband or wife is? What do you think you’ll have to do when you become a parent? In my opinion, when you become a parent, you also become a servant to your child. You lose sleep for your child. You take time off work for your child. You might even put your career and profession on hold for your child. Almost everything in your life yields to the needs of your child. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s actually the ‘bog standard’ for parenthood. I always say that “Sacrifice is the definition of love”, but I’ll leave that for another time.
Let's Look at the Movies
Think about in the movies when someone is being interrogated? They’re threatened and tortured for whatever information is needed. The person is always resilient and gives zilch. Funny enough, more often than not, they typically add fuel to the fire by spitting on them or just cussing them out more. They’re boastful and confident, and you feel that they aren’t going to give in. But after a couple punches and some blood has been shed, they still don’t budge. The interrogator always resolves with another tactic – they mention a loved one. It’s usually the wife or child. They might have information on them, knowing where they live, telling them a secret, or even threatening to kill them.
But then their mention changes everything. Suddenly, the person interrogated loses their smirk and arrogance. Instead, you see them pale with fear. Very soon after, the interrogator has what they need. Why? They were happy shedding blood and suffering, and didn’t even flinch at being killed but become weak at the mention of someone they love. You’ll find that a purpose and drive revolving around someone else is much stronger than one around yourself. It’s not just in the movies.
My Encouragement to Us Both
My encouragement to us both is to zoom out. My encouragement is not to be so blinded by immediate feelings and your bubble. But remember that whatever it is you’re pursuing, someone needs it.
Whether you’re a writer and someone needs to read, or whether you are a teacher and someone needs to learn. Maybe you are a singer, and someone needs to hear. Or you’re a cook, and someone needs to eat.
Sure, there probably is an element of money in it. I don’t believe there’s inherently wrong with that, given that we need money to live. But when you adopt an eye towards towards the needs of others as opposed to gain for self, you’ll see the difference.
So embrace the servitude, and remind yourself that it’s not about you. You might find some hidden drive, work ethic, and focus you didn’t think you had. Sometimes, nothing is wrong with what you’re doing, but more so, why you’re doing it…